i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
