my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
