Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
