You can't motorboat a personality
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize