just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
