capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
