I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
