Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize