just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
