nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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