And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
