Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
