so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
its liver damage thursday
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
