I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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