Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Redeem this text for a blowjob
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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