dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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