maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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