He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
