I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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