saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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