Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
