i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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