My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
