Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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