..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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