No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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