i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Randomize
