He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize