He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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