she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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