I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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