Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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