You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
