8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
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Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
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I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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