Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
