Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
did you just send me my own nude
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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