can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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