According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
