The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
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We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
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How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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