I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize