I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize