I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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