it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
