I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
