I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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