Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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