My room smells like vodka and shame
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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