please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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