you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
