Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
