i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Randomize
