Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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