I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
