She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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