your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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