I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
