yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
